since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
