Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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