I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
