Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
