I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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