We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
