No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
