Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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