I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
