his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
