I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
