do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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