YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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