He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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