Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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