I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Where is the hickey?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
