if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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