Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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