theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
