I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
