I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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