is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
