This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
