ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
