Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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