it's too hot outside to masturbate.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
