at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
