I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
