Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it because I queefed?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Randomize
