I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
