so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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