dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
