this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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