people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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