I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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