we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
