Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
