bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
