I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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