i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
lol hangovers are for mortals.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
