We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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