ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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