Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
time to smoke my breakfast
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
