i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
