I cockslap morals
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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