What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
