he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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