Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
