i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
