there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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