You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
