I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize