Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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